“I listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul… I let my music take me where my heart wants to go.” -- Cat Stevens “The Wind"
I walked the beach and headed west toward the setting sun. I watched the windmills along the Maui mountainside as they spun wildly in the wind. There are many who believe - myself included - that the wind is a messenger and conductor. A voice from beyond that guides, clears, resolves, and empowers. In our face, it tests our resolve and commitment. At our backs, it helps direct us along life’s flow. According to the Bible, each direction of the wind has meaning and purpose. The northerly winds represent power and authority; the southerly winds bring comfort and quiet. The easterly wind is often associated with bringing things into light, as well as judgment and determination.
As I walked along and felt the winds flow in from the west, I was thinking about a conversation I had with an elderly woman at a book festival in Sedona just a few days before. I was packing up my things when she wandered over and asked me about my books.
As we chatted, she started tapping the empty spot on the table to the right of Becoming Kate. She kept tapping as if to reinforce the question she was about to ask. “This book. Book three. This is the book I want to read. When are you going to write it?”
“Soon.” I confessed that I had barely written a word after Becoming Kate. My creative energy needed to recharge. I asked her, “What makes my third, presently unwritten book so interesting to you?”
She replied, “Because I think it’s about love. Am I right?!”
I smiled as she was indeed correct. In very recent years I have come to understand the full magnitude of the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse I experienced as a child. One of the most complicated thresholds of acceptance was reconciling how all I endured impacted my ability to achieve and maintain productive healthy relationships.
The relationship aspect had taken the longest time to unravel. I promised myself that I wouldn’t write about love until I understood what lived at the root of my challenges and seeming limitations. I was quite surprised at what I found. It wasn’t obvious at first, but it made perfect sense.
The woman asked if it would be another memoir. I shook my head no and explained…
There is a little girl that lives inside of me who is a hopeless romantic. She believes in fairy tales, handsome Princes, and happily ever after. She was very young when her dreams of love were shattered. I promised her that one day, when I was ready to write again, I would let her tell the love story that lives in our heart. And she could tell it any way she chooses.
To keep my promise, this next book will be a work of fiction. I will continue to use my experiences as an example of the possibilities that live within each of us to heal and live forward– AND – I wanted to have some fun, let that inner child believe, and enjoy the limitless landscape that fiction provides. The story will NOT be a “tell all” - it’s not about my individual experiences with love - rather - it’s about the journey to understanding what kept me from allowing the right love into my life… until now.
“What will you call it?” she asked.
The westerly winds bring end to an era, a day, an age – the simultaneous moment of ending and beginning. The restoration of all things to their intended state. Not a “re-do” or rewind to what could have been – rather – an integration of all of life’s possible paths into the one we end up walking.
And… it also just so happens to be the name of an elementary school where once upon a time, a little girl with bright blonde pigtails and big blue eyes, fell in love for the very first time.
… stay tuned
(Target Publication - mid 2018)